I have changed recently (grown?) in terms of friendships. I realized several womenI considered "close" are not because its just me being genuine and sharing ...seeing this honestly (vs seeing things the way I want/wish them to be) has caused me to re-evaluate who I want in my life and what I want from friendships. Still a work in progress.
Ah, Grace, thank you for sharing! My friendship style is very similar to yours… and I can’t stand petty gossip as well. How amazing that you have found wonderful friendships in a new home. What a gift!
But really... should we plan a girls trip??? Loved this essay so much, thinking about friendship—as you know—is truly my favorite topic. And I'm so grateful for yours!!
Thank goodness for bad breakups - sometimes the best things come out of what feels like the worst of times. Just a reminder that the bad times are temporary but the good times are forever! I wish we could go steal some oversized restaurant decor together this weekend. P.S. the Eliza + Brinker mismatched shell earrings are everything. Never pressed "purchase" faster.
Great essay, Grace! It was so heart warming to see all the comments from your irl friends too!!
If anyone is looking for a book about navigating friendships - I cannot recommend ‘Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict by Elizabeth Day’ more. It had a huge impact for me on how I view my friendships and it has generated some really useful/important conversations with friends!
Such a great read Grace. As an introvert, making new friends every time we have moved has been challenging. After moving to a new town last year, I am pushing myself to get out more to do hobbies and volunteer, and hoping there may be some friendships that develop from it. It’s not easy. As a childless-by-choice person who has lost friendships once the kids arrived, I realize that was something I had not anticipated. Even relationships with family members faded away because of this. I wish extroversion came easier to me. It really is a daily choice (aka - challenge) to get out. It surely doesn’t help that I have my own business and work from home! I even tried taking a part-time job in an office to try to get out more but ultimately didn’t like the schedule (or having to ask permission to take time off haha). I have my childhood best friends who don’t live nearby and we only get to meet up once a year. I have one budding friendship with a fellow gardener fanatic. Hoping this summer we spend more time together and see where that friendship leads. In the meantime, I really enjoy reading about the experiences of other introverts and how we all manage the balance of enjoying solitude and also needing/wanting *the right* friendships. That’s for sharing this Grace! We have had a similar journey with friendships! It reminded me of my *best friendship time* when I worked for Planned Parenthood for several years (when I was in my 30s). We had built an amazing friendship group. It was so easy there. Like-minded women who worked and hung out together. I miss that time and hope I fully appreciated it at the time. Marriages, kids, and moves scattered is. I am still best friends with one of them (but love on the opposite side of the country now).
I loved this writing on friendships! I related to it all, even that college hurt! And especially your surprise to find yourself enjoying friendships and encounters more in your chosen hometown. There is something about growing up and finding a physical place that’s ours that seems to open things up in beautiful ways.
Thanks for sharing. As a 30-something woman, this is so relatable. I have also enjoyed being in a smaller, tighter-knit community like Savannah versus the a sprawling metro of suburbs like Atlanta where I grew up and spent my 20s.
This post really resonated with me - as an introvert who's in her early 40s and doesn't have a partner or kids, I've found it difficult and lonely to watch so many friends slip away as they move into phases of life I'm not in and make "couple friends", "suburb friends", "mom friends" etc. I try to force myself to join tennis clubs, mahjong groups, talk to people at the gym, etc but at times it feels really depleting to put yourself out there and still not find your people.
Sadly, this season of The White Lotus also really triggered me, as I realized the mean girl vibe between the women rang a little too similar to a group I've been a part of in New York City for years. I've slowly tried to distance myself from these catty interactions, as I know that a few quality, high value friendships are better than many superficial relationships with people who you can't trust. I just never imagined navigating friendships at this age would be so hard!
I have changed recently (grown?) in terms of friendships. I realized several womenI considered "close" are not because its just me being genuine and sharing ...seeing this honestly (vs seeing things the way I want/wish them to be) has caused me to re-evaluate who I want in my life and what I want from friendships. Still a work in progress.
seeing things honestly is a game changer!!!!!
So grateful to call you friend and my life is richer for it! I relate to this on so many levels. Loved this insightful post . . .
So grateful for YOU!!! Loved seeing you last night <3 xo
Lucky to count you as a real friend 🫶🏻
I am the lucky one! Also, we need a lunch soon <3 love you!
Ah, Grace, thank you for sharing! My friendship style is very similar to yours… and I can’t stand petty gossip as well. How amazing that you have found wonderful friendships in a new home. What a gift!
it IS a gift! xo
Great piece Grace! Such great insight on this issue which is very tricky.
thanks, Stephanie!!!
SO glad you joined us ❤️
me too :)
But really... should we plan a girls trip??? Loved this essay so much, thinking about friendship—as you know—is truly my favorite topic. And I'm so grateful for yours!!
that would be so fun <3 love you!!!!!!
Thank goodness for bad breakups - sometimes the best things come out of what feels like the worst of times. Just a reminder that the bad times are temporary but the good times are forever! I wish we could go steal some oversized restaurant decor together this weekend. P.S. the Eliza + Brinker mismatched shell earrings are everything. Never pressed "purchase" faster.
Seriously. The breakup was 100% worth getting you as a friend. And those earrings are so perfect for you. Love you the mostest
Great essay, Grace! It was so heart warming to see all the comments from your irl friends too!!
If anyone is looking for a book about navigating friendships - I cannot recommend ‘Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict by Elizabeth Day’ more. It had a huge impact for me on how I view my friendships and it has generated some really useful/important conversations with friends!
Such a great read Grace. As an introvert, making new friends every time we have moved has been challenging. After moving to a new town last year, I am pushing myself to get out more to do hobbies and volunteer, and hoping there may be some friendships that develop from it. It’s not easy. As a childless-by-choice person who has lost friendships once the kids arrived, I realize that was something I had not anticipated. Even relationships with family members faded away because of this. I wish extroversion came easier to me. It really is a daily choice (aka - challenge) to get out. It surely doesn’t help that I have my own business and work from home! I even tried taking a part-time job in an office to try to get out more but ultimately didn’t like the schedule (or having to ask permission to take time off haha). I have my childhood best friends who don’t live nearby and we only get to meet up once a year. I have one budding friendship with a fellow gardener fanatic. Hoping this summer we spend more time together and see where that friendship leads. In the meantime, I really enjoy reading about the experiences of other introverts and how we all manage the balance of enjoying solitude and also needing/wanting *the right* friendships. That’s for sharing this Grace! We have had a similar journey with friendships! It reminded me of my *best friendship time* when I worked for Planned Parenthood for several years (when I was in my 30s). We had built an amazing friendship group. It was so easy there. Like-minded women who worked and hung out together. I miss that time and hope I fully appreciated it at the time. Marriages, kids, and moves scattered is. I am still best friends with one of them (but love on the opposite side of the country now).
I loved this writing on friendships! I related to it all, even that college hurt! And especially your surprise to find yourself enjoying friendships and encounters more in your chosen hometown. There is something about growing up and finding a physical place that’s ours that seems to open things up in beautiful ways.
Thanks for sharing. As a 30-something woman, this is so relatable. I have also enjoyed being in a smaller, tighter-knit community like Savannah versus the a sprawling metro of suburbs like Atlanta where I grew up and spent my 20s.
We host our cookbook club on a Sunday night too! It’s such a great way to beat the Sunday scaries and keep the weekend feeling festive.
Wait, what sorority??!!
This post really resonated with me - as an introvert who's in her early 40s and doesn't have a partner or kids, I've found it difficult and lonely to watch so many friends slip away as they move into phases of life I'm not in and make "couple friends", "suburb friends", "mom friends" etc. I try to force myself to join tennis clubs, mahjong groups, talk to people at the gym, etc but at times it feels really depleting to put yourself out there and still not find your people.
Sadly, this season of The White Lotus also really triggered me, as I realized the mean girl vibe between the women rang a little too similar to a group I've been a part of in New York City for years. I've slowly tried to distance myself from these catty interactions, as I know that a few quality, high value friendships are better than many superficial relationships with people who you can't trust. I just never imagined navigating friendships at this age would be so hard!
Could have written this myself, 100%!