Making More Time for Fun
It’s no longer about late nights!
I am a master of making time for myself, taking a break, self-care. I’ll burn myself out, bite off more than I can chew, then sequester myself away for a weekend, have a “me night,” spend an entire Saturday afternoon reading, get out for a long walk, take a bath, hide out under a blanket. I’m good at that. (I’m also child-free and in a long-distance relationship.)
What am I not always good at? Making time for fun. Laughter. Joy. I don’t laugh enough, I don’t let loose enough, and I want to change that!
I had fun in Harbour Island. More on that trip here.
I really relaxed. I felt safe in that group. I felt like I could skip things—like the boat ride (I get so sick!), and karaoke or post-dinner drinks (confession: I don’t like karaoke and find that drinks at dinner is enough)—without any judgment or having anyone tell me I’m lame. I had fun with my friends, I didn’t mind being the grandma of the group, and I loved every minute. On our last night at dinner, I belly-laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t even remember what we talked about, but I do remember thinking, “More of this, please!”
When I was younger, most of the fun I had revolved around drinking. And to be honest, some of it still does. When I went to Côte d’Azur last summer for my friends’ wedding, I drank way more than I usually do and we had a wild and wonderful long weekend of just being silly and goofing around and staying up late talking. That was very fun but I can’t do it often. These days, if I am up late, if I have more than three drinks, a little voice in my head says, “This isn’t worth it. You’ll want to die tomorrow.” That voice is always right, and 99 percent of the time I listen to it and just go to bed.
Geoff and I talk about Type 1 vs. Type 2 fun. Type 1 fun is the sort of fun that is fun in the moment. Type 2 fun is fun when you look back (like one of his epic sailing races), but in the moment it usually involves a lot of stress and struggle. (There is also Type 3 fun, which sounds terrible: It involves a lot of suffering and risk and when it’s over you swear you’re never going to do anything that stupid ever again.) Geoff loves Type 2 fun; I do not. The only thing I can compare it to is working out. I think about reformer Pilates—I hate every minute while I am doing it, but feel amazing after.
OK, so what do I actually find fun? Here is a little list, in no particular order. You might not like my kind of fun. It isn’t outdoorsy and it doesn’t involve staying up late, but this list makes me very happy to think about.
Low-stress afternoon friend hangs. Last summer, two of my girlfriends came over in the middle of the day on a Saturday to needlepoint. No one wore makeup, I didn’t make any fussy effort to make cute snacks. We literally just drank seltzers, needlepointed, and talked. I am someone who doesn’t love small talk but loves an afternoon of going deep. Add a craft project to keep my hands busy and away from my phone? That is fun.
On that note, any sort of arts and crafts project. After my creative retreat last year, I swore I’d make more time to paint and do crafts. I did not. I really want to try to bedazzle something. Emily Schuman has posted about bedazzling and I’m inspired.
My pool. It is my little oasis and anytime I’m out there, I am so happy. I really love having friends over to enjoy it. I need to do more of that this summer.
Shopping with my best friend. Ugh, I am such a stereotype, but it is the bestttttt. Over the holidays in L.A., we had a margarita and vegan nachos (weird but super good), went to the Dries store, where everything (including my now very beloved orange coat) was on sale, tried on perfumes, and did all the girly things before meeting G for dinner. Another time, we had a delicious lunch at La Mercerie in New York and spent the afternoon wandering Printemps. OMG, that store!
A long, leisurely dinner with friends (like the one in Harbour Island) when you can’t stop laughing and don’t want it to end.
Having an art day. The stipulation here is that I cannot be tired or hot. If that happens, I lose stamina! There is nothing better than a crisp fall day in New York—maybe start at the MoMA, gallery hop in Chelsea, and end at the Whitney. We just did this in L.A. (the new Geffen Galleries at LACMA), but I was unfortunately very tired from the night before, so I was dragging. I have to be in peak form for a true art day.
Watching a comedy show in bed with Geoff and a glass of wine. I don’t usually subscribe to bedwine at home, but as a special treat, this is the best. Maybe add a bowl of popcorn.
Swimming in the ocean. The water in Harbour Island was just right—I can’t do it if it’s too cold! I swam every single day and it was glorious; I felt so free and happy just floating in the waves.
The common thread is: I’m not up late, I’m in a smallish group with people I love, maybe doing something creative. This is my personal brand of mid-40s fun!
We are seeing board shorts everywhere and I think this is just so fun. It is yet another Spring 2026 trend (along with track shorts and vintage tees) that takes me back to my youth. I have fond memories of saving up to buy a pair from Roxy circa 1997. There are some very fancy high-fashionversions out there (cough, cough: these), but this isn’t a trend I’d spend a lot of money on. It’s meant for the beach, after all. My pick would be this pair from Free People. Super cute and won’t break the bank. These from Madewell are also fab. I like this Free People pair a lot too.
PS - Even more board shorts on this shelf!
Three cute outfit ideas, styling last week’s best-sellers.
A fab little round-up of under $200 pieces.
The Wednesday ten: ten things to know this week.
The Up Next Edit: Carly’s edit of what’s cool and now.
An updated review of the Hanacure mask. Really love this one!
The Housewife, by Natalie Barelli
This was a wild ride, with loads of twists and turns along the way. Jodie grew up poor with abusive parents, but has built her dream life. She lives in LA and is married to handsome, wealthy, (older) therapist Roy. She spends her days cooking and cleaning, butting heads with their housemaid Marie. Still: she can’t let go of the sneaking suspicion that Roy murdered his previous wife Deborah. Everyone (including Roy) talks about Deborah constantly. There are photos of her all over the house. Is Jodie just jealous, or did Roy do something sinister? Liked it!
Read this if you loved: Any of Freda McFadden’s books (straightforward writing, loads of plot twists), Happy Wife by Meredith Lavender and Kendall Shores Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org
The Calamity Club, by Kathryn Stockett
Oh my goodness, this book. My mom had to needle me into reading it — it’s her favorite book of the year so far, but I kept putting it off because it’s so long — 650 pages. Don’t be like me: I read it in three days. It’s the story of women making ends meet during the great depression in the South. Birdie, hoping to secure a loan from her well-to-do sister; Charlie, fresh out of prison with nothing to lose; and eleven-year-old Meg, abandoned by her mother and navigating the combative waters at an orphanage. I won't say anything more or give spoilers, just say that the story is incredible, the characters are delightful, and I wish there could be a sequel. Loved it!
Read this if you loved: The Help (obviously). To be honest, I haven’t read anything quite like this. The plot is really creative. I would say City of Girls in the slightest way (a huge compliment, I loved that one) because of the bold, brave feminist characters that jump off the page.
Hot Girls Murder Club, by Ashley Winstead
This is a wild ride with tons of twists and turns. Ten years ago, Scout Sage’s beloved younger sister was brutally (and mysteriously) murdered at a Hollywood party. Now, Scout has tried to honor her memory, becoming a beloved pop star with a pack of famous friends. When a slew of targeted murders point to Scout as the suspect, she has to clear her name. Meanwhile, the young detective assigned to her case has her own sister’s murder to contend with — and begins unearthing secrets that could connect these new murders to the two old cases. This is twisty and fast-paced; you’ll read it in a single day! Liked it!
Read this if you loved: The Comeback // Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org
I've been waiting for your review of The Calamity Club! I loved the first half, but then I felt it sort of dragged on (I don't want any spoilers here, but I'm guessing you know where) and then the ending felt so rushed after that. I'm not sure that wasn't intentional? Maybe there is a sequel coming - but I felt like it was a very rushed goodbye to characters I'd spent a lot of time with.
love this kind of fun!! 💘