Grab Bag

Five things I can’t stop thinking about.

Thank you to AERIN Beauty for sponsoring today’s send. I am a long-time fan of their fragrances, which make the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day.

Right now, I’m listening to three audiobooks. Too many? I’d typically say yes, but in this case, it’s something fun, something serious, and something I’ll read throughout the year. I like this mix. Personal growth with a side of light and chatty is my ideal media diet.

There’s Empire of the Elite (a dishy read about the Condé Nast empire), Separation of Church and Hate (an amazing read for anyone, but especially if like me you were raised in a world where Christianity meant loving your neighbor and being kind, not whatever this Fundamentalist narrative has become), and The Self Care Solution (more on that below).

This medley actually feels like a pretty accurate representation of where my mind is right now—in many different places, but still neatly organized. Here are five things that have stuck with me.

Pushups & Planks (and a Sober January)

I’ll start by saying that I think the term “self-care” has gotten way overused, but The Self-Care Solution is more about building a healthier body than taking a bath and disassociating (although it’s OK to do that every now and again, too). Every month, it sets a specific challenge. In January, I did a dry month. I loved it; I felt so good. After a full month off, my jeans felt looser, my mind clearer, my sleep: sound. I wanted to keep that going! (More on my evolving relationship with alcohol here.)

My Evolving Relationship With Alcohol

February’s challenge is to do daily pushups and planks. Every morning, I’ll do a plank (starting with 75 seconds, as I’m already pretty good at these) and pushups (starting with 15, from my knees—less good at these!). It takes less than five minutes and is a great way to start the day.

Surplus Value

Yet another audiobook(!): I finished listening to Notes on Being a Man last week. I understand that Scott Galloway is not for everyone, and I only read the book because my boyfriend asked me to. I don’t know very much about him, but I have to say it: I really loved the book. I thought it was going to be about feeling bad for men (it’s not; it’s more of a practical guide to raising young men so we don’t end up with a generation of uneducated January 6ers who live in their parents’ basements). Instead, I got vulnerable and funny stories from Galloway’s childhood, loads of life advice that could benefit anyone regardless of gender, and a bit of an attitude shift. It isn’t a zero-sum game. Helping young men doesn’t mean neglecting young women. You can do both!

One of my key takeaways was the term “surplus value.” This just means giving more than you take. Parents create surplus value pretty much every moment with their children. As a childfree person, it made me think: How can I provide surplus value? What can I do in this world to create more value than I am taking? The obvious things are volunteering, donating, using my platform for good . . . being a good neighbor, daughter, friend, etc.

The idea of surplus value is a good way to think about your approach to life and all relationships. Some of the ways I see surplus value playing out for me:

• At work: I seek to be the sort of manager who pays my team members well, helps them with their growth and development, gives them opportunities, and ultimately helps them spread their wings. This is something I think about a lot, as working for an influencer has a ceiling (it’s always going to be more of a support role than front and center). I want to make sure anyone who works for me is gaining transferable skills, connections, and credit for their work.

• In my relationship: I am guilty of tallying things up in my head (well, he did this, so I’ll do that; it’s his turn to visit so I’m not going there). Reframing my attitude to be one where I aim to give more than I receive is a good one. (While holding boundaries and not depleting myself, of course.)

• In friendships: being the person who reaches out, who makes the plan, makes the reservation. I am not always this person (like everyone, I get busy and overwhelmed), but I want to make it a goal.

The Art of Back Sleeping

This post really is a grab bag! I am trying to train myself to sleep on my back. There are several reasons—(practical) chronic back and neck pain and (vanity) wrinkles. When I get Botox I feel like the right side always wears off more quickly because I sleep on my stomach and smush the right side of my face into a pillow. I have tried and tried and tried to sleep on my back and I hate it. I want to be on my stomach. But Sleep & Glow sent me this pillow¹ and dare I say, it’s getting a bit easier? It comes with a little plan (for the first week or so, you’re only supposed to try to fall asleep with it and then if you wake up you can switch to your regular pillow). Last night, I woke up sleeping on my back. I think it’s working.

The Evolution of My Personal Style

I’ve written about the vibe shift, feeling like I can’t trust my own sense of style, feeling like everything in my wardrobe is wrong. I’ve been really working on getting dressed every day and homing in on what I feel my best in, and it’s all changing. It might just be the weather and winter, but lately I have no interest in dresses. Caftans? Meh. When I was in L.A. over the break, my (fellow caftan-loving) friend and I had a talk about how it might be time to put the billowing maxi dresses away. Just for the next 15 to 20 years. We are in a weird phase where it’s no longer ironic and we just look frumpy. A little too Mrs. Roper.

What I am loving right now is perfect basics. Button-downs, layers, straight-leg denim. I am a maximalist at my core but have been satisfying my color-loving, embellishment-crazed heart by adding coats and jewelry (or maybe a shoe) to a really simple foundation. Carly complimented my “winter style,” which meant a lot to me as I admire her style, but what it really comes down to is that when it’s cooler, you can have a bit more fun layering, mixing and matching, adding in textures, etc. The warm (hot) weather rolls in and I feel like I am either sloppy (a tee and cutoffs) or stuffy (another freaking maxi dress).

I am considering working with a stylist when things warm up here, simply because my body is revolting against the idea of another long patterned dress, but I’m at a bit of a loss with what else I would wear to stay cool, look chic, and feel like myself.

A New Word Game

You probably know how much I love my morning word games. So much. Too much. I wake up excited to play them. I play Wordle and Connections every morning without fail and almost always do the crossword (I heartily maintain that the best alternative to doomscrolling is playing the NYT crossword!). So when Crossplay was announced, I signed up immediately.

This is going to be . . . a problem. I have so many games going. It’s taking up too much time! I need to set some healthy limits. But it’s so much fun. Just like Words With Friends from the 2010 era (I was heartily addicted to that one, too!).

So there you have it. A real grab bag this week.

I’m wishing you a wonderful weekend ahead. xx

I am a longtime AERIN fan (they make my favorite jewelry box!), and if you are looking for a great Valentine’s Day gift, they have some absolutely beautiful fragrances inspired by the joy of flowers and scent memories. They are happy, uplifting, and (most importantly!) easy to wear. My two favorite scents are Tuberose Gardenia and Amber Musk. Tuberose Gardenia smells exactly as you'd expect (two of my favorite white flowers united!). It’s timeless and elegant, developed by Aerin as a tribute to her grandmother Estee. Meanwhile, Amber Musk is my ideal skin scent. It’s sensual and creamy . . . just as cozy as your favorite cashmere blanket. I love it for winter as it feels velvety and warm.

• Everything I read in January 2026. A lighter month of books, but still a good one.

• Carly’s Cut: Everything she’s loving this month.

• A big chocolate brown edit. Favorite pieces across every price point (and a $100 version of my Attersee tassel scarf).

I finished listening to Scott Galloway’s Notes on Being a Man. I read this because my boyfriend wanted me to (he has two teenage boys), and I know Galloway isn't for everyone, but I think it is an important read, packed with advice anyone can benefit from. I myself took away a lot of career and life advice. Overall, I really enjoyed the book and agree with him that young men are in crisis; if we don’t do something about it, we’ll end up with a generation of Jan 6-ers. Order on Bookshop.org or Amazon.com

I gobbled up My Husband’s Wife by Alice Feeney, which has already been picked up to be a TV show! This one is twisty—to the point where I lost count of how many twists there were, and am still wrapping my head around it. A woman goes out for a run. When she returns, her key doesn’t work in the doorway. A woman (who looks like her but is a bit older) insists this is her husband and her house. Meanwhile, in London, another woman has discovered a clinic that can predict the exact date she will die. The stories intersect in a marvelous way. I loved this and thought it was super creative. Order on Bookshop.org or Amazon.com

I read The Heir Apparent, by Rebecca Armitage in just a few days. This came highly recommended by Becca Freeman, and it absolutely delivered. Lexi is about to kiss her best friend when a helicopter lands on the island where they are camping, and her grandmother’s right-hand man delivers devastating news: Lexi’s estranged father and brother have died in a skiing accident, leaving Lexi next in line for the throne. Thrust back to London (and into the spotlight), Lexi must navigate family secrets, a conniving uncle, and the weighty decision of whether she wants to be queen. Order on Bookshop.org or Amazon.com

Next up was Best Offer Wins, by Marisa Kashimo (also a Becca Freeman rec, can you tell we just had dinner?). The housing market is completely wild (relatable!), and when Margo Miyake learns that her dream home is about to go on the market, she’ll do anything (anything!) to get it. A little stalking, light trespassing. . . almost getting fired from her job? Totally worth it. I will say no more other than: I could not put it down, I was in a complete and utter chokehold. I laughed a little (it’s darkly funny!), and I gasped more than once. I highly recommend this. Order on Bookshop.org or Amazon.com

1. If you’d like to try it, they made us a code GRACE15 for $15.00 off the pillow of your choice.