I have so many thoughts about the original essay you shared. My biggest question is why can't Substack be different things to different people? I enjoy a listicle just as much as an essay and recognize the work that go into both. Reading one versus the other doesn't have to define who I am as a reader. Also, sometimes those essays are way too long and I really don't think scrolling into the oblivion of a website or app is the reader-friendliest format for them. Shorter essays and lists are much easier to digest online, which I think speaks to how the writer understands their audience.
I love that you shared who you are actually writing for too. I try to write for me too and if that resonates with others, that's all the better! I'll choose connection and authenticity over going viral any day of the week. There is a lot to say about bonding over "silly little lists and recommendations" as women that original essay managed to skim over. But I think the biggest thing is realizing it's not silly. It's thoughtful and does provide a way for people to connect. Your blog, Facebook group, and this Substack are all wonderful examples of that, Grace. ❤️
That's the thing! There is truly room for everyone. I think the issue is maybe that the algorithm is not showing people the things they want to read. Agree with everything you said!
This. I’m (clearly) here for your (excellent) writing Grace, but also here for the Culture Study essays on RushTok in the same reading session - they both fulfil different brain candy needs for me!
I'm a middle-aged, former stay at home mom turned part-time preschool teacher on Daniel Island (not exactly a hip demographic) and reading your content makes me feel a just a little bit cooler. I've read books you've recommended, tried new restaurants around town, added some really cool pieces to my wardrobe, and even learned about a local political candidate from you!
We obviously get bombarded with so much content but yours stands out from the rest. You write from a genuine place and that is a unique quality these days. Getting one of your emails in my inbox reminds me of the days when I would get a new issue of my favorite magazine in the mailbox. Your writing brings happiness to people. In today's world, that's important work.
I feel like I say this to all of your essays, Grace, but seriously, this is so insightful and invaluable as part of discourse on this era of writing, publishing, and media.
This might be a long bow to draw, but I've felt since the start of 2024 that there's this hum that feels like an audible, escalating and accelerating swing back to pre-2017 times in terms of attitudes towards things that "women" like. It felt like we had an apex mountain of visibility of women last summer with Beyoncé, Taylor, and Barbie. It petered out a little as 2023 waned. Of course there remains the "girl" aesthetic in whichever way you name it (not to yuck other people's yum, all of that is so not for me; even so, I support the girliefication in whatever way people want to embrace and run with it).
My current outlook is tied more to what seems like this acceleration back into what is being culturally "allowed" by those with platforms and prominent voices. Some reflections I've heard since the start of this year from people that work in the visual social media space is that discourse around "algorithm" content tends to be quite gendered. If I'm honest with myself, all the pictures of the discourse that use female writer characters upholds that. Particularly because so many people who work in the influencing space are women. When I drill into that, the messaging seems to me, yet again, that these are all the ways that women "don't contribute" -- to culture, writing, art, media, you name it! -- in a meaningful, canonical, artistic, and critically worthwhile (again, you name it) way. This bugs me out because there isn't an objective arbiter of that -- taste is subjective although those in positions of heritage influence, be it institutions or actual titles, still tend to have critical deference in conversations about this kind of worthiness value.
This past week it's felt even more uncomfortable and insidious again in the roiling discussion about It Ends With Us. Namely, it's gendered to talk about what Blake Lively is wearing on the red carpet to promote the film. Furthermore, it's gendered and insidious to do so in the context of the adaptation's subject matter. I'll take this a step further: I have questions around the idea that in one context there's criticism around the "appropriateness" of what Blake is wearing as if the subject matter has an appropriate tone of those who are involved with the creative project. What does that even mean and how do we make ourselves, namely as women, be more appropriate then? It feels adjacent to the idea that there's an appropriate, acceptable, and ultimately, believable victim of gendered violence. I won't elaborate on why this is damaging for so many reasons. This is the hop then full-speed collision into, "Well, what was she wearing" victim blaming.
All of this coalesces for me that we are returning to a time where apparently women should behave, contribute, do, and be in specific ways in order to be worthy. No space feels safe from this and, frankly, I'm pissed off that we're not celebrating women just having voices and using them. There are smarter, more thoughtful, truly intersectional, and inclusive ways to have critical conversations. Slagging off listicles misses the mark of actually talking about the enshittification of all things by hating on players instead of hating on the structural game. It also bypasses the fact that being an editor of a masthead -- which is what Substack is -- is equivalent to being an editor-in-chief of any publication: there's a vision for the readership and it's delivered on. If the goal is to give readers what they want from the EIC's unique creative space then so be it. This is the creative, editorial, and publishing prerogative.
In closing, the volume of people saying the same thing amplifies and diversifies this which leads to the mass cultural moment. I would love to see that happen in really meaningful ways that actually bring everyone along and don't just either overtly or covertly tell people, but in the scope of this comment, women, how they should do all of the things.
For example, how about we talk about the gutting of global publishing and journalistic bodies that has undermined and continues to undermine itself by the firing of editors -- seemingly the written word being correct in a mechanical form isn't as important as criticising things that people, the audience, want to read. If the medium is the message then actually getting the technical writing right is part of this. Typos happen, of course, but people making these sorts of criticisms do actually put out work with typos, so, pot and kettle.
Or, how about we talk about how gatekeeping prioritises a certain type of voice against all others and that if there is an audience for a particular type of writing, irrespective of the algorithm, then we should work together to defend the right of that work to exist rather than perpetuate a status quo that allows very few seats at the table.
Or, lastly, how about we talk about how emaciated the fine arts and creative arts are globally such that a grassroots path, such as Substack or Instagram or TikTok or Etsy, is genuinely the only option many people will ever have for artistic and creative expression. Starting with some work, any work, as Stephen King explains at length in On Writing, is the key to good work. It all takes showing up and putting in to the work.
I realise this is a long comment and I clearly have a lot to say. With zero sycophantic sentiment, please know that I adore reading your work here and The Stripe. I adored your work on BoP, too. Feeling welcome and safe in all spaces is so important. Encouraging each other to do great work is exciting and inspiring -- thank you for doing this in your subject matter and by the standard of what you release. Lastly, all of this makes me think about Miranda Priestley saying, "This stuff...". If listicles and outfit diaries and personal day in the life or personal recaps are the cerulean blue of Substack then FUCK YES. I'll relish reading them in the same way I relish everything I get to enjoy that someone has worked on in any context. Thoughtfulness and a welcoming spirit shines through and, as someone who is deeply uncool, I relished the day I got to leave my hometown and could just express myself the way I wanted without judgment. If we're all going to make things, let's be sans judgment, please.
Aoife I just love how you write. Everything you said. Thank you for the thoughtful note. I just signed up for your Substack as I want to read more from you! xx
Grace, your words are an enormous compliment to this v. insecure writer. Thanks a million for allowing my polemic and for replying. Moreover, that Doen dress is SO chic. I died!!! 💙
"All of this coalesces for me that we are returning to a time where apparently women should behave, contribute, do, and be in specific ways in order to be worthy. No space feels safe from this and, frankly, I'm pissed off that we're not celebrating women just having voices and using them." I LOVE THIS, YES, LOUDER!! The cerulean blue of Substack! This made my day!
You have put into words what I felt with the Barbie movie et al -- and I think there is a critical reckoning to come here -- it's ok for women to have our spaces and voices so long as they don't really disrupt the status quo. It's not hard to see how, when too many women start to step into their power, the powers that be start to push trad wives, unsustainable thinness, and JD Vance.
The gravitational pull of all of this freaks me out. It's also so weird that criticising what women do -- in any context -- seems like it can't be separated from the fact that they're women? The unsustainable thinness is terrifying.
I use Substack…. But turn off the notes and comments etc. I have about 6 newsletters I follow rotating through a few but yours is always on my list. I’m a Gen X’r and we don’t really have the same style, but I feel like that makes your newsletters more interesting. It’s like I’m learning things from a friend!
I’m active on the Substack app but I don’t really participate in notes and chats as it seems like it’s mostly a closed circle of successful writers promoting each other. I do scroll through notes sometimes though and find interesting things to read.
I started writing my own Substack about a year ago because I didn’t see a lot of style advice for women over 50. Most of them seemed to be written and geared towards younger women with a certain body type. But then I had an extraordinarily tough year and gave it up and came back recently because I was so depressed and the only thing I was still interested in were my clothes. I feel like I’m using my newsletter to drag myself out of depression and force myself to stay accountable to getting dressed every day and it is actually helping. I try to stick to that goal, and not get caught up in how well I can write (although of course I want to try to write well). So I guess we’re all here for different reasons and it’s all okay. We can choose what we want to look at or not. Personally I like content that’s a bit lighter or if it’s deeper it’s about someone’s personal struggle and what they learned from it, rather than broader critical opinions which I never find that interesting.
I really enjoy your newsletter and I’m glad I found it.
@Sita I report on beauty, fashion and wellness through the lens of aging and my Substack definitely taps into what we feel with each passing year. There isn’t enough said about the privilege of getting older and all of the wonders that come with aging; the more we speak out, the better we feel — and we can collectively change the narrative of aging so the next generation(s) don’t fear what’s to come.
A closed circle of successful writers promoting each other is exactly what Substack seems to be right now. I wonder if it is a reaction to the volatility of the media industry. I have a journalism background and I worked at Vogue (just an intern) in 2007. Vogue didn't even have a website at the time. The world was closed in a completely different way. You had to live in New York City. You had to look a certain way. You had to have enough economic privilege to work for basically nothing. I didn't pursue writing as a career after the Great Financial Crisis because it didn't seem economically viable. While the internet, and Substack in particular, has democratized the voices that can be heard and created a way for writers to be in control of their livelihood, many probably still have a scarcity mindset around readers and dollars. And while there are more voices out there, it's hard to ignore that the same people that would have worked at Vogue in 2007 are the most successful writers on Substack. Someone commented that the initial piece was giving "strong can't sit with us vibes" and I think that is why people had such a reaction to it, even though the author made a lot of good points.
Sita, I relate to your comment because I also starting writing recently, as something just for me while I navigate a messy divorce. I have a lot of thoughts about how culture, and especially internet culture, impacts us as humans and parents to smaller humans. There is so much noise out there and it will eventually trickle down to our kids. I think this is part of that conversation. How do I talk to my daughter about culture and sexism amidst all the hullabaloo about Ballerina Farm and who is allowed to write and about what. How do I teach her about capitalism and marketing and her body when advertising is so much more subtle than in the past and, especially for women, putting on clothes and makeup is so nuanced and layered. I don't have a PhD in the topic, I have a big day job and a lot of shit going on, but it's been fun to have something else to think about. And it's ok, I don't need to sit with the cool kids.
I’m glad the conversation is happening. And you’re very kind. I’ve always been low key jealous of people who “got to” stick with writing as a career, and I’m grateful for anyone remotely interested in my second act as a pushing 40 mom with much more to say.
Cat, thank you for your comment. I’m so glad my comment has provoked this conversation between mature women. I’m also going through a hard break-up, hence the depression. I don’t have children but I can only imagine how tough it is to raise them in such a digitalized world. I often wonder though if in some ways it’s easier for young people now because there’s a lot more range in standards of beauty than there were when I was growing up. I feel like, speaking of a closed circle, what we saw as beauty in the 70’s - 90’s was so controlled by entertainment media, while now with social media I see many individual women of various shapes and sizes having a voice in fashion and what beauty is, and I love that. I might be having a grass is greener mentality and not really understanding what young people now are facing, but I hope those changes are having a positive impact on the next generation’s body image.
If this comment is any indication, you write really well, so I’m glad you’re here on this platform.
You’re very kind and I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. I like to think of mine as a new beginning since I was unhappy for SO long, but I also don’t want to force a silver linings analysis where there isn’t one (yet).
I don’t pretend to think that I understand what young people are facing but I think about it a lot. Body image in 2024 is complicated. Certainly, there is more diversity of bodies being celebrated though, to me, it seems like every time there is some movement forward, the worshipping of thinness comes back with a vengeance. It seems to me that we are in a backlash period now and I’m also hopeful for the future. Right now, the idea of my daughter (who is still young) on Instagram or TikTok makes me want to cry. But I think it is my job as a parent to teach her to think critically and trust herself so that, when the time inevitably comes, she won’t absolutely fall apart, as I suspect I would have as a teen. And with this, comes a responsibility to think critically about it myself and trust myself, and, frankly, that’s why I’m getting divorced :)
I rolled my eyes at the "viral" essay. After a not-so-deep dive, Emily (and I've never heard of her or her newsletter--to be snarky for a second) was educated at some fashion school and has lots of lists and recs on her site. So she presumably learned the craft of writing by practicing and working hard. But only she can do this--not us Substack civilians. And somehow she has anointed herself the Supreme Leader of Substack. I could feel the terror in the comment section of people afraid to comment with truth. I was thrilled to see your honest and heartfelt comment. I love your newsletter--you have a different lifestyle but we're all here to share and support each other. I live for your book recs!
If you've read "Fair Play" or "Unicorn Space" by Eve Rodsky--I look at Substack as MY UNICORN SPACE. I have a busy life and I come here to practice writing, pursue my passion (seasonal living), and follow others who I want to follow (Supreme Leader Emily--if we've said it once, we've said it twice--keep scrolling or hit unsubscribe). Go back to your Substack throne and stay there. I'm not here for pretentious elitism. I'm here to have fun, find purpose, and support others in my realm. Yes, my Substack is frothy--I mean my Friday issue is called "The Fluff Stuff." I come here to find joy, happiness, and destress. Thank you for giving me a space to dump. I feel better now. Let's all carry on as usual.
Oh wow I had the exact same reaction re: substack being my Unicorn Space. I just wrote another long comment here giving my Thoughts on why some people want Substack to be an insular circle jerk -- that's how much of journalism, at least fashion journalism (which is my long ago background) has always operated.
Grace, you are one of the most authentic voices in a sea of sameness. I was subscribed to 25 or so Substacks at one point. But a few weeks ago I pared back to a select few.
I once had a manager who broke all the rules; he yelled, he could be downright mean. But the whole team adored him. Our HR dept did a training on micro-inequities. After I asked the instructor (1:1), how is it this manager enjoys such loyalty when he breaks all the rules you just outlined? And I'll never forget her response: "authenticity trumps everything. If your team feels he will always get in the boat and row with you, then a lot of wrong behaviors can be overlooked".
Anyway, you are obviously precisely what a lot of people want because your numbers show that. Of course...keep striving to improve your skills. But mostly, just keep being you!
I use Substack as my preferred social media platform - as a user, the whole what is good content is a little tedious. It’s no different than saying the book you read doesn’t count because it’s (insert genre here). We can all hold multitudes. I read a mix of ‘lowbrow’, business, and listicles. Who cares!?
I couldn't agree more. Reminds me about the discourse around romance novels, or someone like Elin Hilderbrand who writes beach reads and maybe isn't taken quite so seriously vs. someone more literary... when in fact she's a skilled writer an Iowa Writers Workshop alum!
Great post! Thank you for always sharing so much of the behind-the-scenes with us. There is so much sadness and conflict in the world, and we all need a little escapism from time to time. I don't know how or why anyone has the time to belittle or diminish anyone on Substack or the influencing community. Also, it's business. I wonder how many businesses, small or large, and authors you have helped by featuring or posting about them? How is contributing to someone's life work and the economy frivolous?
I have always enjoyed your writing and love that you are so clear about who you are writing for. Thank you for creating content that is thoughtful, kind, fun and engaging. Such great book recs too.
I’m pretty sure if I had found you on Instagram or come across your blog, I would have thought “oh another thin blonde showing a life I’ll never have, no thanks”. But I found you on Substack (I think when I was going down a High Sport pants consideration - I could never spend $860 on a pair of pants, but I was reading all I could to see if they would really be worth it), and I really appreciate this platform to have a more personal introduction to your work. Now I look so forward to Weekend Reading every Saturday and when I see a new Substack from you, I know it’s a newsletter that will be an easy (I mean that in a good way!) read and maybe introduce me to a new clothing brand or beauty product. Also, as a 47 year old who just opened her own gift shop last October, I’m sort of adjusting to a wardrobe that lets me show a style more than I did going to a cubicle or working from home for 20 years, so I LOVE your weekly outfit reviews.
I love your perspective here. When I zoom out on all of this what I see is marketing budgets moving away from a handful of men in corner offices towards moms, florists, home cooks, teachers and so much more. There's a larger democratization happening that I think is super positive. I'm looking forward to seeing how it continues to unfold and welcome anyone who wants to be part of it.
I started my Substack while being with my little kids full-time. It's such a special outlet for me and the fact that I've been able to monetize it easily is a gift. I'm just grateful that this option exists. I love writing here! I think it's still early days for Substack. I just read that there are less than 20K paid Substacks (think about how early it was when there were only 20K accounts on Instagram.) It feels like a lot more growth and evolution is on the way. It's exciting! x
I have so many thoughts about the original essay you shared. My biggest question is why can't Substack be different things to different people? I enjoy a listicle just as much as an essay and recognize the work that go into both. Reading one versus the other doesn't have to define who I am as a reader. Also, sometimes those essays are way too long and I really don't think scrolling into the oblivion of a website or app is the reader-friendliest format for them. Shorter essays and lists are much easier to digest online, which I think speaks to how the writer understands their audience.
I love that you shared who you are actually writing for too. I try to write for me too and if that resonates with others, that's all the better! I'll choose connection and authenticity over going viral any day of the week. There is a lot to say about bonding over "silly little lists and recommendations" as women that original essay managed to skim over. But I think the biggest thing is realizing it's not silly. It's thoughtful and does provide a way for people to connect. Your blog, Facebook group, and this Substack are all wonderful examples of that, Grace. ❤️
That's the thing! There is truly room for everyone. I think the issue is maybe that the algorithm is not showing people the things they want to read. Agree with everything you said!
This. I’m (clearly) here for your (excellent) writing Grace, but also here for the Culture Study essays on RushTok in the same reading session - they both fulfil different brain candy needs for me!
Yes! It's both and!
I love this. Substack is a blank canvas. How other people paint is up to them.
Amen! I read different newsletters for different content. We can have two thoughts in our head at once. I don’t get the problem.
I'm a middle-aged, former stay at home mom turned part-time preschool teacher on Daniel Island (not exactly a hip demographic) and reading your content makes me feel a just a little bit cooler. I've read books you've recommended, tried new restaurants around town, added some really cool pieces to my wardrobe, and even learned about a local political candidate from you!
We obviously get bombarded with so much content but yours stands out from the rest. You write from a genuine place and that is a unique quality these days. Getting one of your emails in my inbox reminds me of the days when I would get a new issue of my favorite magazine in the mailbox. Your writing brings happiness to people. In today's world, that's important work.
Haha it's okay, I'm not a hip demo either. :) I am so glad you feel that way about opening my emails; really it means the world.
I feel like I say this to all of your essays, Grace, but seriously, this is so insightful and invaluable as part of discourse on this era of writing, publishing, and media.
This might be a long bow to draw, but I've felt since the start of 2024 that there's this hum that feels like an audible, escalating and accelerating swing back to pre-2017 times in terms of attitudes towards things that "women" like. It felt like we had an apex mountain of visibility of women last summer with Beyoncé, Taylor, and Barbie. It petered out a little as 2023 waned. Of course there remains the "girl" aesthetic in whichever way you name it (not to yuck other people's yum, all of that is so not for me; even so, I support the girliefication in whatever way people want to embrace and run with it).
My current outlook is tied more to what seems like this acceleration back into what is being culturally "allowed" by those with platforms and prominent voices. Some reflections I've heard since the start of this year from people that work in the visual social media space is that discourse around "algorithm" content tends to be quite gendered. If I'm honest with myself, all the pictures of the discourse that use female writer characters upholds that. Particularly because so many people who work in the influencing space are women. When I drill into that, the messaging seems to me, yet again, that these are all the ways that women "don't contribute" -- to culture, writing, art, media, you name it! -- in a meaningful, canonical, artistic, and critically worthwhile (again, you name it) way. This bugs me out because there isn't an objective arbiter of that -- taste is subjective although those in positions of heritage influence, be it institutions or actual titles, still tend to have critical deference in conversations about this kind of worthiness value.
This past week it's felt even more uncomfortable and insidious again in the roiling discussion about It Ends With Us. Namely, it's gendered to talk about what Blake Lively is wearing on the red carpet to promote the film. Furthermore, it's gendered and insidious to do so in the context of the adaptation's subject matter. I'll take this a step further: I have questions around the idea that in one context there's criticism around the "appropriateness" of what Blake is wearing as if the subject matter has an appropriate tone of those who are involved with the creative project. What does that even mean and how do we make ourselves, namely as women, be more appropriate then? It feels adjacent to the idea that there's an appropriate, acceptable, and ultimately, believable victim of gendered violence. I won't elaborate on why this is damaging for so many reasons. This is the hop then full-speed collision into, "Well, what was she wearing" victim blaming.
All of this coalesces for me that we are returning to a time where apparently women should behave, contribute, do, and be in specific ways in order to be worthy. No space feels safe from this and, frankly, I'm pissed off that we're not celebrating women just having voices and using them. There are smarter, more thoughtful, truly intersectional, and inclusive ways to have critical conversations. Slagging off listicles misses the mark of actually talking about the enshittification of all things by hating on players instead of hating on the structural game. It also bypasses the fact that being an editor of a masthead -- which is what Substack is -- is equivalent to being an editor-in-chief of any publication: there's a vision for the readership and it's delivered on. If the goal is to give readers what they want from the EIC's unique creative space then so be it. This is the creative, editorial, and publishing prerogative.
In closing, the volume of people saying the same thing amplifies and diversifies this which leads to the mass cultural moment. I would love to see that happen in really meaningful ways that actually bring everyone along and don't just either overtly or covertly tell people, but in the scope of this comment, women, how they should do all of the things.
For example, how about we talk about the gutting of global publishing and journalistic bodies that has undermined and continues to undermine itself by the firing of editors -- seemingly the written word being correct in a mechanical form isn't as important as criticising things that people, the audience, want to read. If the medium is the message then actually getting the technical writing right is part of this. Typos happen, of course, but people making these sorts of criticisms do actually put out work with typos, so, pot and kettle.
Or, how about we talk about how gatekeeping prioritises a certain type of voice against all others and that if there is an audience for a particular type of writing, irrespective of the algorithm, then we should work together to defend the right of that work to exist rather than perpetuate a status quo that allows very few seats at the table.
Or, lastly, how about we talk about how emaciated the fine arts and creative arts are globally such that a grassroots path, such as Substack or Instagram or TikTok or Etsy, is genuinely the only option many people will ever have for artistic and creative expression. Starting with some work, any work, as Stephen King explains at length in On Writing, is the key to good work. It all takes showing up and putting in to the work.
I realise this is a long comment and I clearly have a lot to say. With zero sycophantic sentiment, please know that I adore reading your work here and The Stripe. I adored your work on BoP, too. Feeling welcome and safe in all spaces is so important. Encouraging each other to do great work is exciting and inspiring -- thank you for doing this in your subject matter and by the standard of what you release. Lastly, all of this makes me think about Miranda Priestley saying, "This stuff...". If listicles and outfit diaries and personal day in the life or personal recaps are the cerulean blue of Substack then FUCK YES. I'll relish reading them in the same way I relish everything I get to enjoy that someone has worked on in any context. Thoughtfulness and a welcoming spirit shines through and, as someone who is deeply uncool, I relished the day I got to leave my hometown and could just express myself the way I wanted without judgment. If we're all going to make things, let's be sans judgment, please.
Aoife I just love how you write. Everything you said. Thank you for the thoughtful note. I just signed up for your Substack as I want to read more from you! xx
Grace, your words are an enormous compliment to this v. insecure writer. Thanks a million for allowing my polemic and for replying. Moreover, that Doen dress is SO chic. I died!!! 💙
"All of this coalesces for me that we are returning to a time where apparently women should behave, contribute, do, and be in specific ways in order to be worthy. No space feels safe from this and, frankly, I'm pissed off that we're not celebrating women just having voices and using them." I LOVE THIS, YES, LOUDER!! The cerulean blue of Substack! This made my day!
Kelly, thank you so much. Happy to opt out of this bs and opt in to good vibes only. Bring on the cerulean wave! 💙
Yes to all of this!
I second that!
Stacia and Joelle, thank you so much 💙
You have put into words what I felt with the Barbie movie et al -- and I think there is a critical reckoning to come here -- it's ok for women to have our spaces and voices so long as they don't really disrupt the status quo. It's not hard to see how, when too many women start to step into their power, the powers that be start to push trad wives, unsustainable thinness, and JD Vance.
The gravitational pull of all of this freaks me out. It's also so weird that criticising what women do -- in any context -- seems like it can't be separated from the fact that they're women? The unsustainable thinness is terrifying.
I use Substack…. But turn off the notes and comments etc. I have about 6 newsletters I follow rotating through a few but yours is always on my list. I’m a Gen X’r and we don’t really have the same style, but I feel like that makes your newsletters more interesting. It’s like I’m learning things from a friend!
This is me as well. I do not dress anything like you and have a very different lifestyle but love your writing and have followed you for years
Same here! And I love that Grace encourages individuality in all these ways.
I love, love, love your name. Almost used it for my now 19 year old daughter
Sharon! 🥰 Thanks so much. What name did you go with?
We ended up going with Eliza
Gorgeous xx
Aw thank you! Yeah I just found the setting that lets my home page be all my newsletters vs, notes and that's been groundbreaking!
I had no idea that was a setting! Going to look now...
I just follow along wherever your newsletter ends up! ❤️
thank you <3
I’m active on the Substack app but I don’t really participate in notes and chats as it seems like it’s mostly a closed circle of successful writers promoting each other. I do scroll through notes sometimes though and find interesting things to read.
I started writing my own Substack about a year ago because I didn’t see a lot of style advice for women over 50. Most of them seemed to be written and geared towards younger women with a certain body type. But then I had an extraordinarily tough year and gave it up and came back recently because I was so depressed and the only thing I was still interested in were my clothes. I feel like I’m using my newsletter to drag myself out of depression and force myself to stay accountable to getting dressed every day and it is actually helping. I try to stick to that goal, and not get caught up in how well I can write (although of course I want to try to write well). So I guess we’re all here for different reasons and it’s all okay. We can choose what we want to look at or not. Personally I like content that’s a bit lighter or if it’s deeper it’s about someone’s personal struggle and what they learned from it, rather than broader critical opinions which I never find that interesting.
I really enjoy your newsletter and I’m glad I found it.
I love this and look forward to checking out your Substack!
@Sita I report on beauty, fashion and wellness through the lens of aging and my Substack definitely taps into what we feel with each passing year. There isn’t enough said about the privilege of getting older and all of the wonders that come with aging; the more we speak out, the better we feel — and we can collectively change the narrative of aging so the next generation(s) don’t fear what’s to come.
A closed circle of successful writers promoting each other is exactly what Substack seems to be right now. I wonder if it is a reaction to the volatility of the media industry. I have a journalism background and I worked at Vogue (just an intern) in 2007. Vogue didn't even have a website at the time. The world was closed in a completely different way. You had to live in New York City. You had to look a certain way. You had to have enough economic privilege to work for basically nothing. I didn't pursue writing as a career after the Great Financial Crisis because it didn't seem economically viable. While the internet, and Substack in particular, has democratized the voices that can be heard and created a way for writers to be in control of their livelihood, many probably still have a scarcity mindset around readers and dollars. And while there are more voices out there, it's hard to ignore that the same people that would have worked at Vogue in 2007 are the most successful writers on Substack. Someone commented that the initial piece was giving "strong can't sit with us vibes" and I think that is why people had such a reaction to it, even though the author made a lot of good points.
Sita, I relate to your comment because I also starting writing recently, as something just for me while I navigate a messy divorce. I have a lot of thoughts about how culture, and especially internet culture, impacts us as humans and parents to smaller humans. There is so much noise out there and it will eventually trickle down to our kids. I think this is part of that conversation. How do I talk to my daughter about culture and sexism amidst all the hullabaloo about Ballerina Farm and who is allowed to write and about what. How do I teach her about capitalism and marketing and her body when advertising is so much more subtle than in the past and, especially for women, putting on clothes and makeup is so nuanced and layered. I don't have a PhD in the topic, I have a big day job and a lot of shit going on, but it's been fun to have something else to think about. And it's ok, I don't need to sit with the cool kids.
I really agree with these thoughts and love your writing. Gonna subscribe to your Substack now!
I’m glad the conversation is happening. And you’re very kind. I’ve always been low key jealous of people who “got to” stick with writing as a career, and I’m grateful for anyone remotely interested in my second act as a pushing 40 mom with much more to say.
Cat, thank you for your comment. I’m so glad my comment has provoked this conversation between mature women. I’m also going through a hard break-up, hence the depression. I don’t have children but I can only imagine how tough it is to raise them in such a digitalized world. I often wonder though if in some ways it’s easier for young people now because there’s a lot more range in standards of beauty than there were when I was growing up. I feel like, speaking of a closed circle, what we saw as beauty in the 70’s - 90’s was so controlled by entertainment media, while now with social media I see many individual women of various shapes and sizes having a voice in fashion and what beauty is, and I love that. I might be having a grass is greener mentality and not really understanding what young people now are facing, but I hope those changes are having a positive impact on the next generation’s body image.
If this comment is any indication, you write really well, so I’m glad you’re here on this platform.
You’re very kind and I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. I like to think of mine as a new beginning since I was unhappy for SO long, but I also don’t want to force a silver linings analysis where there isn’t one (yet).
I don’t pretend to think that I understand what young people are facing but I think about it a lot. Body image in 2024 is complicated. Certainly, there is more diversity of bodies being celebrated though, to me, it seems like every time there is some movement forward, the worshipping of thinness comes back with a vengeance. It seems to me that we are in a backlash period now and I’m also hopeful for the future. Right now, the idea of my daughter (who is still young) on Instagram or TikTok makes me want to cry. But I think it is my job as a parent to teach her to think critically and trust herself so that, when the time inevitably comes, she won’t absolutely fall apart, as I suspect I would have as a teen. And with this, comes a responsibility to think critically about it myself and trust myself, and, frankly, that’s why I’m getting divorced :)
I rolled my eyes at the "viral" essay. After a not-so-deep dive, Emily (and I've never heard of her or her newsletter--to be snarky for a second) was educated at some fashion school and has lots of lists and recs on her site. So she presumably learned the craft of writing by practicing and working hard. But only she can do this--not us Substack civilians. And somehow she has anointed herself the Supreme Leader of Substack. I could feel the terror in the comment section of people afraid to comment with truth. I was thrilled to see your honest and heartfelt comment. I love your newsletter--you have a different lifestyle but we're all here to share and support each other. I live for your book recs!
If you've read "Fair Play" or "Unicorn Space" by Eve Rodsky--I look at Substack as MY UNICORN SPACE. I have a busy life and I come here to practice writing, pursue my passion (seasonal living), and follow others who I want to follow (Supreme Leader Emily--if we've said it once, we've said it twice--keep scrolling or hit unsubscribe). Go back to your Substack throne and stay there. I'm not here for pretentious elitism. I'm here to have fun, find purpose, and support others in my realm. Yes, my Substack is frothy--I mean my Friday issue is called "The Fluff Stuff." I come here to find joy, happiness, and destress. Thank you for giving me a space to dump. I feel better now. Let's all carry on as usual.
I love that comparison to a Unicorn Space, that is perfect! I'm going to check out your account!
Oh wow I had the exact same reaction re: substack being my Unicorn Space. I just wrote another long comment here giving my Thoughts on why some people want Substack to be an insular circle jerk -- that's how much of journalism, at least fashion journalism (which is my long ago background) has always operated.
Love the intro essay! And so eager to see the "baked" poll responses. Also "Lady Lowbrow" had me doing a coffee spit take!
it's so interesting. I can't wait either. I think I need a tote with "lady lowbrow," or "long live lowbrow," lol.
Grace, you are one of the most authentic voices in a sea of sameness. I was subscribed to 25 or so Substacks at one point. But a few weeks ago I pared back to a select few.
I once had a manager who broke all the rules; he yelled, he could be downright mean. But the whole team adored him. Our HR dept did a training on micro-inequities. After I asked the instructor (1:1), how is it this manager enjoys such loyalty when he breaks all the rules you just outlined? And I'll never forget her response: "authenticity trumps everything. If your team feels he will always get in the boat and row with you, then a lot of wrong behaviors can be overlooked".
Anyway, you are obviously precisely what a lot of people want because your numbers show that. Of course...keep striving to improve your skills. But mostly, just keep being you!
I love this story! Thank you for sharing it with me!
I use Substack as my preferred social media platform - as a user, the whole what is good content is a little tedious. It’s no different than saying the book you read doesn’t count because it’s (insert genre here). We can all hold multitudes. I read a mix of ‘lowbrow’, business, and listicles. Who cares!?
I couldn't agree more. Reminds me about the discourse around romance novels, or someone like Elin Hilderbrand who writes beach reads and maybe isn't taken quite so seriously vs. someone more literary... when in fact she's a skilled writer an Iowa Writers Workshop alum!
Great post! Thank you for always sharing so much of the behind-the-scenes with us. There is so much sadness and conflict in the world, and we all need a little escapism from time to time. I don't know how or why anyone has the time to belittle or diminish anyone on Substack or the influencing community. Also, it's business. I wonder how many businesses, small or large, and authors you have helped by featuring or posting about them? How is contributing to someone's life work and the economy frivolous?
Couldn't agree more!
I have always enjoyed your writing and love that you are so clear about who you are writing for. Thank you for creating content that is thoughtful, kind, fun and engaging. Such great book recs too.
thank you friend. xx
I’m pretty sure if I had found you on Instagram or come across your blog, I would have thought “oh another thin blonde showing a life I’ll never have, no thanks”. But I found you on Substack (I think when I was going down a High Sport pants consideration - I could never spend $860 on a pair of pants, but I was reading all I could to see if they would really be worth it), and I really appreciate this platform to have a more personal introduction to your work. Now I look so forward to Weekend Reading every Saturday and when I see a new Substack from you, I know it’s a newsletter that will be an easy (I mean that in a good way!) read and maybe introduce me to a new clothing brand or beauty product. Also, as a 47 year old who just opened her own gift shop last October, I’m sort of adjusting to a wardrobe that lets me show a style more than I did going to a cubicle or working from home for 20 years, so I LOVE your weekly outfit reviews.
Thank you so much for the nice note. I am glad you like the outfits!
I admire you and your thoughtfulness in everything you do, that’s all! ❤️❤️
ILY and feel the same way about everything you do! xx
I’m so appreciative that you do what you do. Bright spots in my week! You’re one of my favorite bloggers!
thank you!
I love your perspective here. When I zoom out on all of this what I see is marketing budgets moving away from a handful of men in corner offices towards moms, florists, home cooks, teachers and so much more. There's a larger democratization happening that I think is super positive. I'm looking forward to seeing how it continues to unfold and welcome anyone who wants to be part of it.
I love this thought and couldn't agree more!
I started my Substack while being with my little kids full-time. It's such a special outlet for me and the fact that I've been able to monetize it easily is a gift. I'm just grateful that this option exists. I love writing here! I think it's still early days for Substack. I just read that there are less than 20K paid Substacks (think about how early it was when there were only 20K accounts on Instagram.) It feels like a lot more growth and evolution is on the way. It's exciting! x