I live in the NJ suburbs and moved farther away from the city during the pandemic. I once worked in Manhattan 5 days a week, now it’s more a couple times a month. I often stay overnight to skip the (awful) commute and get some consistent days in. What you wrote about NYC is so relatable.
I arrive in NY. I park on the other side of Bryant Park just so I can walk through. I smile and take in all of the happenings. Maybe I grab a pastry. I am practically skipping down the street. Then it’s an Uber after work where the quality is dicey, more traffic, a too small hotel room and a less than bathroom, similar shoe troubles, and with all that walking my hair is not what I intended. All the feels!
Just want to say I relate so much to the Ozempic-is-everywhere commentary— I am also in my 40s and actually my 2024 resolution was to try to just love the body I’m in… which has been nearly impossible as I watch so many people around me effortlessly become stick thin! I’ve had to unfollow some influencers who have triggered me here and I also feel like it is truly what everyone is talking about in NYC. Solidarity!!
I also agree and can relate! I'm in my 40s too and I would like to lose 10 lbs. or so. The older I get though, the better I'm getting at liking the body that I'm in - but it's still hard seeing all of the "perfect" bodies on Instagram.
So relatable! I feel this way about NY and Chicago. I grew up just outside NYC and went to grad school just outside Chicago, and when I’m in a city I just feel this fiercer persona come out to play. It’s amazing, I’m in charge, it’s awesome, but it’s also exhausting. I remember hating how I always felt like I was fighting in those bigger cities: fighting crowds, traffic, the weather, public transit, schedules… there’s still some fight in me now in Nashville but everything is just easier and softer for me. Big cities: fun to visit, but not where I want to stay. And that’s okay!
Yes!!!! I relate so deeply to your idea of the "fiercer persona" because that is what happens to me. I hit the ground running and I'm ready to play! And then suddenly... I'm just not!
I felt so much of this so loudly! I have tried to leave New York 3 times and counting-- gearing up for a fourth, though honestly still not far away most likely-- and every time I get sucked back in with a pit in my belly the way you described in your first or second day back. But the older I get the more I'm like... ahh. Your Day 3 is so real.
For me (and idk if you feel/felt this way too), what's getting me is honestly how much garbage there is everywhere on the streets in Williamsburg. A glass of wine or a cheeseburger costs $36 (each, lol) and then you step on a broken syringe or human excrement on your way out of the restaurant-- a complete metaphor for how broken and upside down New York can feel. This sentiment has gotten so much more heightened for me now that there have been so many assaults/muggings/attacks on young women walking home wearing headphones in my neighborhood in Williamsburg-- and I'm ashamed that the crime only gets under my skin so deeply when it's close to home, close to me, and I suppose crime has always been here, in NYC.
That said though-- if you're going to pay an arm and a leg to live somewhere like New York, I think you gotta make the most of what it has to offer: being out and about! That's less enthralling to me these days. And I think if you (the global you) want to live somewhere where you can be safe and comfortable and the expense of living feels more proportionate, a home fit for a homebody... even if that is no longer the "greatest city in the world" or this big hub or epicenter everyone insists is *it* and often does feel like *it*... isn't that only fair? To have needs change or just to try something new to be happy? (Asking this rhetorical for myself even more than for you-- but your piece struck a nerve in me, clearly!)
Haha yes to all of this!!!! It is so expensive and life can just be hard. That being said, moving away is also very hard! I think my needs changed over the pandemic (and maybe even the year or two before)... wanting to spend more time at home, wanting outdoor space, all of those things. I think I'll always feel conflicted but I feel equally grateful for my cozy house and my ability to go back!
1000%. I think a lot of our needs changed then! And for what it's worth, your home in Charleston looks so gorgeous that I would leave New York for it in a heartbeat!
As someone who’s been in NYC for ummmm (counts in head/fingers) 18 years now but has recently begun to contemplate what life outside of NYC could look like, I always appreciate these thoughts when you come back. I have family in the DMV & NC and have visited a lot this year and for the first time ever have given some SERIOUS thought about leaving. But would I actually do it?! 🤷🏾♀️ the feelings you shared about being so inspired/challenged here vs NC… FELT. Also the day you stepped in trash, got some shoes wet… FELT. All so very different but valid thoughts. I’m glad you were able to enjoy, get your fix and then go back to your cozy home in NC. We all need that place or sanctuary to land on. Let me go back to contemplating 🙃 Thanks for sharing ✨
I am a native new yorker who goes home often and though ive been in DC for a while, its never home. The moment I step home I am sent into a spiral of childhood and also adult inspiration. The moving in and out the city, I lived in Jersey too, thinking about moving to Hoboken or Edgewater ( im serious lol) . I lived in the south but its NEVER HOME. This Bronx girl is who she is regardless of where I go. People love to debate what a real new yorker is, but I was born there, my foundation years and beyond were/are there and I will ALWAYS go back there ( I go every three months) We move, we live we grow but if I wasn't from NYC I wouldn't be who I was. I carry that with me. Great post!
Hard relate to so much of this, esp losing my professional savvy/ambition since leaving New York. I don’t think there’s anywhere else that shares that energy — it does feel like the origin of everything that’s happening! Funnily enough almost all my friends in Denver are ex-NYers because I’m drawn to their motivation and sensibilities.
That said, though I love it so much (and in many ways feel most like myself in NYC), I don’t know that I have the energy to move back ever!
There really isn't anywhere like it!!!!! But yes, same, I dream about having a little place there but my energy and resilience aren't what they once were.
I love your description of your complicated feeling about visits to NY. I used to travel for work a lot more, and I would go through a similar feelings cycle every trip. Day 1 - the city (and all the meetings) is so invigorating! So lively!; Day 2 - visit my favorite restaurants and connect with colleagues; day 3 - morning workout intentions have fallen apart; I’m tired and over- socialized, I miss home. By evening I am really looking forward to going home. I get through Day 4 and 5 but I’m not enjoying the travel or city any more. I just want to be home in my house and cooking simple veggie-forward meals for myself, reading and petting my dog.
I had the same feeling after finishing The Bee Sting. It was a slog! Many times I wanted to quit. I was happy to finish it. There are lots of discussions online about the ending! Have you read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow? I just finished that
Thank you, like others, I identify with the NYC pull... luckily, I moved just across the Hudson and jump in often for a "hit" -- one of my favorite things is 3 pm Sunday (if there's not a street fair) to jump in the car, cross the bridge, zoom down the West Side HWY, park underneath the Met (at a discount b/c a member), so look at art for an hour or so, maybe meet a friend for coffee, and zip home before 6. Such a luxury.
I also identified with the Ozempic comments: I am on Zepbound (Mounjaro for non-diabetics) and it has changed my headset and relationship with food. I'm on maintenance (take a shot every 2-3 weeks), and really happy without the extra weight, have more energy, etc. It's not cheap, but with the minimal dosing... it's good for my head, my heart and I look at it like another health expense (like the gym).
Now, I'm down the Garnet Hill cashmere rabbit hole... thankYouVeryMuch. That blue set is in my cart as I type... such a great color -- and not the usual "basic" of some other sites. Have a great weekend.
Oh, PS I don't think I've seen you review/reading Jackie (Dawn Trip) -- LOVED it.
Grace, I’ve never related to anything more! I went for the week but left to go see friends out of the city for the weekend because as much as I love NYC I could never live there full time again. It turns out that matcha lattes and being outside of cities is where I thrive (even though I run my company from both LA and NYC). It was lovely to chat with you on the Vogue panel. I really look up to you and all you’ve created. You’ve built and incredible personal brand and business. Looking forward to coffee with you in Charleston at some point. I’ve been dying to go forever!
I live in the NJ suburbs and moved farther away from the city during the pandemic. I once worked in Manhattan 5 days a week, now it’s more a couple times a month. I often stay overnight to skip the (awful) commute and get some consistent days in. What you wrote about NYC is so relatable.
I arrive in NY. I park on the other side of Bryant Park just so I can walk through. I smile and take in all of the happenings. Maybe I grab a pastry. I am practically skipping down the street. Then it’s an Uber after work where the quality is dicey, more traffic, a too small hotel room and a less than bathroom, similar shoe troubles, and with all that walking my hair is not what I intended. All the feels!
Yes!!! SO many feelings!
Just want to say I relate so much to the Ozempic-is-everywhere commentary— I am also in my 40s and actually my 2024 resolution was to try to just love the body I’m in… which has been nearly impossible as I watch so many people around me effortlessly become stick thin! I’ve had to unfollow some influencers who have triggered me here and I also feel like it is truly what everyone is talking about in NYC. Solidarity!!
It's really hard!!!!! I agree. xo
I also agree and can relate! I'm in my 40s too and I would like to lose 10 lbs. or so. The older I get though, the better I'm getting at liking the body that I'm in - but it's still hard seeing all of the "perfect" bodies on Instagram.
agree!
So relatable! I feel this way about NY and Chicago. I grew up just outside NYC and went to grad school just outside Chicago, and when I’m in a city I just feel this fiercer persona come out to play. It’s amazing, I’m in charge, it’s awesome, but it’s also exhausting. I remember hating how I always felt like I was fighting in those bigger cities: fighting crowds, traffic, the weather, public transit, schedules… there’s still some fight in me now in Nashville but everything is just easier and softer for me. Big cities: fun to visit, but not where I want to stay. And that’s okay!
Yes!!!! I relate so deeply to your idea of the "fiercer persona" because that is what happens to me. I hit the ground running and I'm ready to play! And then suddenly... I'm just not!
I felt so much of this so loudly! I have tried to leave New York 3 times and counting-- gearing up for a fourth, though honestly still not far away most likely-- and every time I get sucked back in with a pit in my belly the way you described in your first or second day back. But the older I get the more I'm like... ahh. Your Day 3 is so real.
For me (and idk if you feel/felt this way too), what's getting me is honestly how much garbage there is everywhere on the streets in Williamsburg. A glass of wine or a cheeseburger costs $36 (each, lol) and then you step on a broken syringe or human excrement on your way out of the restaurant-- a complete metaphor for how broken and upside down New York can feel. This sentiment has gotten so much more heightened for me now that there have been so many assaults/muggings/attacks on young women walking home wearing headphones in my neighborhood in Williamsburg-- and I'm ashamed that the crime only gets under my skin so deeply when it's close to home, close to me, and I suppose crime has always been here, in NYC.
That said though-- if you're going to pay an arm and a leg to live somewhere like New York, I think you gotta make the most of what it has to offer: being out and about! That's less enthralling to me these days. And I think if you (the global you) want to live somewhere where you can be safe and comfortable and the expense of living feels more proportionate, a home fit for a homebody... even if that is no longer the "greatest city in the world" or this big hub or epicenter everyone insists is *it* and often does feel like *it*... isn't that only fair? To have needs change or just to try something new to be happy? (Asking this rhetorical for myself even more than for you-- but your piece struck a nerve in me, clearly!)
Haha yes to all of this!!!! It is so expensive and life can just be hard. That being said, moving away is also very hard! I think my needs changed over the pandemic (and maybe even the year or two before)... wanting to spend more time at home, wanting outdoor space, all of those things. I think I'll always feel conflicted but I feel equally grateful for my cozy house and my ability to go back!
1000%. I think a lot of our needs changed then! And for what it's worth, your home in Charleston looks so gorgeous that I would leave New York for it in a heartbeat!
As someone who’s been in NYC for ummmm (counts in head/fingers) 18 years now but has recently begun to contemplate what life outside of NYC could look like, I always appreciate these thoughts when you come back. I have family in the DMV & NC and have visited a lot this year and for the first time ever have given some SERIOUS thought about leaving. But would I actually do it?! 🤷🏾♀️ the feelings you shared about being so inspired/challenged here vs NC… FELT. Also the day you stepped in trash, got some shoes wet… FELT. All so very different but valid thoughts. I’m glad you were able to enjoy, get your fix and then go back to your cozy home in NC. We all need that place or sanctuary to land on. Let me go back to contemplating 🙃 Thanks for sharing ✨
It is hard! I am so glad I can go back and forth :)
I’m over here shaking my head…..so much relatable sentences here. 🥹💕
I'm so glad it resonated!
I am a native new yorker who goes home often and though ive been in DC for a while, its never home. The moment I step home I am sent into a spiral of childhood and also adult inspiration. The moving in and out the city, I lived in Jersey too, thinking about moving to Hoboken or Edgewater ( im serious lol) . I lived in the south but its NEVER HOME. This Bronx girl is who she is regardless of where I go. People love to debate what a real new yorker is, but I was born there, my foundation years and beyond were/are there and I will ALWAYS go back there ( I go every three months) We move, we live we grow but if I wasn't from NYC I wouldn't be who I was. I carry that with me. Great post!
Love this! Thank you for sharing.
anytime!!
Hard relate to so much of this, esp losing my professional savvy/ambition since leaving New York. I don’t think there’s anywhere else that shares that energy — it does feel like the origin of everything that’s happening! Funnily enough almost all my friends in Denver are ex-NYers because I’m drawn to their motivation and sensibilities.
That said, though I love it so much (and in many ways feel most like myself in NYC), I don’t know that I have the energy to move back ever!
There really isn't anywhere like it!!!!! But yes, same, I dream about having a little place there but my energy and resilience aren't what they once were.
I love your description of your complicated feeling about visits to NY. I used to travel for work a lot more, and I would go through a similar feelings cycle every trip. Day 1 - the city (and all the meetings) is so invigorating! So lively!; Day 2 - visit my favorite restaurants and connect with colleagues; day 3 - morning workout intentions have fallen apart; I’m tired and over- socialized, I miss home. By evening I am really looking forward to going home. I get through Day 4 and 5 but I’m not enjoying the travel or city any more. I just want to be home in my house and cooking simple veggie-forward meals for myself, reading and petting my dog.
Yes!!! I should have mentioned my morning workout intentions also fell apart. I never make it to the workouts I book!
NY day 4 had me laughing out loud. I love your writing!
Thank you so much!
I had the same feeling after finishing The Bee Sting. It was a slog! Many times I wanted to quit. I was happy to finish it. There are lots of discussions online about the ending! Have you read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow? I just finished that
Yes I have! I absolutely loved it!!!
The home edition posts from Amazon are so good. I look forward to them every time. Keep up the great work!
I am so happy you love them!
Hi ☺️ What is your favorite perfume store in NYC? 💕
The one I was referring to here is Fueguia but there are so many! https://fueguia.com/
Thank you so much 🤩🧡☺️ Would you mind sharing your top three perfume stores in NYC?
Your thoughts on NYC made me think of Carrie Bradshaw in the opening scenes of Sex and The City. Especially the stepping in garbage part.
It is all very complicated. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you, like others, I identify with the NYC pull... luckily, I moved just across the Hudson and jump in often for a "hit" -- one of my favorite things is 3 pm Sunday (if there's not a street fair) to jump in the car, cross the bridge, zoom down the West Side HWY, park underneath the Met (at a discount b/c a member), so look at art for an hour or so, maybe meet a friend for coffee, and zip home before 6. Such a luxury.
I also identified with the Ozempic comments: I am on Zepbound (Mounjaro for non-diabetics) and it has changed my headset and relationship with food. I'm on maintenance (take a shot every 2-3 weeks), and really happy without the extra weight, have more energy, etc. It's not cheap, but with the minimal dosing... it's good for my head, my heart and I look at it like another health expense (like the gym).
Now, I'm down the Garnet Hill cashmere rabbit hole... thankYouVeryMuch. That blue set is in my cart as I type... such a great color -- and not the usual "basic" of some other sites. Have a great weekend.
Oh, PS I don't think I've seen you review/reading Jackie (Dawn Trip) -- LOVED it.
Grace, I’ve never related to anything more! I went for the week but left to go see friends out of the city for the weekend because as much as I love NYC I could never live there full time again. It turns out that matcha lattes and being outside of cities is where I thrive (even though I run my company from both LA and NYC). It was lovely to chat with you on the Vogue panel. I really look up to you and all you’ve created. You’ve built and incredible personal brand and business. Looking forward to coffee with you in Charleston at some point. I’ve been dying to go forever!