Hi! I hope you had a great week. Mine was one of those weeks when I felt like I was on a treadmill, trying to get everything done, just running from thing to thing. I am looking forward to not looking at my computer this weekend.
This newsletter contains some thoughts about body image; if that is triggering, you may want to skip/scroll past.
I moved to Charleston from New York almost four years ago, and returning always stirs up complicated feelings. There is a definite cycle for me.
Day 1: I’m crying nostalgic tears. All it takes is walking by an old favorite restaurant. A spot where I had a great first date. A wall I used to love shooting in front of. Or, I’ll be in my Uber, crossing the Williamsburg Bridge, heading home from dinner with one of my best friends, and “City of Blinding Lights” (a U2 song about London, not New York) will come on. Cue the waterworks!
Day 2: I am thriving. The sun is shining. I’ve eaten the best bagel I’ve had in ages. Popped into my favorite perfume shop and bought a new fragrance. I am marinating in the street style. I am inspired. I am thinking, “Why did I ever move away? This is the best! I miss it so much!”
Day 3: By the third night, something (or some things) will have happened. I get stuck in traffic, I get caught in the rain wearing suede ballet flats, I am walking and can’t cross Houston Street as it’s bumper-to-bumper packed with cars. I step in trash. There is a long line, or a place I want to go is too crowded. This, my friends, is where things take a turn. I just don’t have the resiliency I once had. This is when I start thinking about my quiet house and my cats.
Day 4: My body is screaming at me. I’m now made of bread and cheese. The wine headache has kicked in. I have eaten no vegetables. I’m throwing away my shoes. I am ready to go home.
This cycle is like clockwork. Every trip. Two nights is my ideal, but this trip I extended my stay by one night so that I could go to a friend’s goodbye party. It nearly did me in, but it was worth it to have extra time with my people. It got me thinking; here are some of those thoughts.
Our conversations are getting adultier.
Over tequila sodas, my best friend and I nerded out about saving money and planning for retirement. I laugh—five years ago, we would have been talking about clothes and boys. We were tucked into a cozy oversized velvet sofa at The Bowery Hotel, nibbling on polenta fries, talking SEP accounts, credit card points, and savings goals. Honestly, I loved it. We still talked about clothes and boys too, don’t worry.
Fashion Week just isn’t for me.
I didn’t go to any shows or previews or parties. I am not invited to those anymore, and that’s for the best. The crowded rooms, the rushing from thing to thing, the small talk… mostly: feeling less-than. When I saw a girlfriend for lunch and exclaimed how fun her coverage was—the shows and previews, the fancy magazine party she was invited to, the clothes she was borrowing—I learned that she was tired and over it too. It reinforced what I already knew. That stuff looks glamorous on social media but is mostly awful IRL. I’d rather ogle the clothes either intimately (meeting a designer at their showroom) or from afar (seeing the coverage online).
That being said, I love seeing what people are wearing.
Friends were asking me what fashion I saw in New York. It was a lot of black (as always), a lot of socks + loafers. A lot of tiny sunglasses (this one will never be for me), a lot of barn jackets. The younger generation is all in sports bras and bike shorts with oversized jackets. But mostly: Diversity reigned! New York is a smorgasbord of different styles, and I really miss the inspiration that comes with seeing combat boots paired with diaphanous dresses, how New Yorkers seemingly pair sneakers with everything—and still look stylish.
Ozempic is inescapable.
The weight-loss drug came up multiple times a day, every day. For the record, I am not opposed to Ozempic (or any of its competitors). This is a drug that is improving the lives of a lot of people.
But: It can trigger a lot of personal insecurities and negative feelings in me.
My friends who take it look great, drink less alcohol, and feel happier. They rave about it and what it has done for their minds just as much as their bodies. They talk about how “food noise” has completely disappeared. The hard fact is that as someone who wouldn’t qualify for it medically (though I might like to lose 10 or 15 pounds), it brings up body image issues and maybe even a little jealousy.
(I realize that the answer here is more about fixing my perspective than fixing my weight, but these things are easier said than done).
It’s wild how Ozempic still seems to be all anyone is talking about in New York. It’s like this in Charleston too but more hush-hush.
There is a level of ambition I miss in New York.
The day before I left for New York, I had a realization. I don’t always feel professionally challenged in Charleston. I love my cozier, slower life here and don’t miss the “live to work” mindset I once had. But, I’m further removed from the hubs of fashion and beauty, I’m not doing much professional networking, and I don’t always feel like I am learning and growing the way I used to be.
The day before I left felt like an exception. My friend Molly hosted a lunch and panel at her home to celebrate and her new book. We talked about Substack, hiring help, building a brand, and trying to do everything (you can’t). I left feeling so energized—which is not usually the case after events—and I felt that same rush after the panel in New York.
I miss being pushed by my peers. I think the solution here is to a) commit to challenging myself further, like how I’ve been working on improving my writing and even hired an editor, b) spend more time finding inspiration, and c) as we talked about in my goals post, get back to New York more, even if just for a night (definitely not three).
The coziest cashmere: Admittedly, I’m a total cashmere monster. Nothing is better - I love cocooning into the fabric’s cozy softness. Growing up, my mom loved Garnet Hill for their great quality and ultra soft-fabrics. Recently, I test-drove a few of their cashmere pieces, and I was very impressed. My favorite piece is these cropped wide-leg pants (paired with this sweatshirt). Both pieces are machine-washable - total game-changer! I love their cozy cashmere slippers, too, and their cashmere socks are heaven (at $36, they make a great gift!).
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We started the week with a big edit of outerwear. Carly and I are very much on the same page here. Chic trenches (long and short), barn jackets, utility jackets, etc.!
After that, Carly rounded up her favorite Amazon home finds of the month. This is her sixth installment; I can’t get over the stuff she found — it’s amazing!
Last but not least, a little entertaining post. Seven of my favorite dip recipes. Tried, true, tested… delicious! Save this post for your next party!
I feel like I haven’t had much to say reading-wise. I was reading The Bee Sting, and it took me FOREVER. It was a slog at times. Imelda’s chapters (there is no punctuation!?!?!?!) were rough. (For that reason, I hear this is great to listen to on audio!). I finished it, and it was a masterpiece. I am still thinking about the ending. But I have to be honest, I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it.
Next up was Here One Moment, by Liane Moriarty. I have been having a hard time getting into it, but I’ve also had less time than usual to read. I hope to have a big chunk of reading time over the weekend where I suspect I will either a) fall madly in love with the book (she’s a favorite author) or b) DNF. We shall see!
On Audible, I’m still on Stolen Focus. The parts about how apps and social media are built specifically to steal our attention and get us to spend more time online… ugh, it’s horrible! I really love this book and have been telling everyone I know (especially my most online friends) to read it ASAP!
I live in the NJ suburbs and moved farther away from the city during the pandemic. I once worked in Manhattan 5 days a week, now it’s more a couple times a month. I often stay overnight to skip the (awful) commute and get some consistent days in. What you wrote about NYC is so relatable.
I arrive in NY. I park on the other side of Bryant Park just so I can walk through. I smile and take in all of the happenings. Maybe I grab a pastry. I am practically skipping down the street. Then it’s an Uber after work where the quality is dicey, more traffic, a too small hotel room and a less than bathroom, similar shoe troubles, and with all that walking my hair is not what I intended. All the feels!
I’m over here shaking my head…..so much relatable sentences here. 🥹💕