The Joy of the “Lowbrow”
Take the guilt out of guilty pleasures
One thing that drives me nuts about my boyfriend is that any time we settle in to watch a movie, he has to look up the Rotten Tomatoes score first. If it is under 80 (maybe 85), it’s an absolute no from him.
It’s a little annoying, but I get it.
He has a lot less free time than I do (he’s dad to a preteen and a teen, runs his own architecture practice, and has a full-time role as a professor), so he consumes just a fraction of the film, TV, and books that I do. He’s being authentically himself; it isn’t pretentious. We are long-distance, so I have plenty of time to watch the other stuff I want to watch. They say while the cat is away, the mouse will play—and for me, that means spreading out on the couch, “girl dinner,” and watching Bridget Jones and/or all of my murdery thrillers.
After four years of dating, we have a pattern. We watch the critically acclaimed stuff together, which I genuinely enjoy. We never miss the Oscar Best Picture noms, and for a while, we were working our way through the AFI 100 list. (I ultimately gave up on that—too many Westerns for my liking!) I am proactive about finding things we can watch together and keep a running list of films I want to watch but know he’ll love too. (On the list right now: Sing Sing, The Brutalist—finally streaming, and A Complete Unknown.) And we both love stand-up comedy. But every now and then, I will want to watch something a little more “lowbrow” and he’ll groan.
There is joy in the “lowbrow.” I use quotes here as the term is a bit unfair, but I couldn’t think of a better word. The so-bad-they-are-good TV shows, the gas station snacks, the cheesy rom-coms with predictable endings (that still make you tear up just a little even though you could guess exactly what was coming). I’ve never really gotten into reality television but I get the appeal.
Anyway! I love a well-crafted indie film and a carefully curated tasting menu . . . I love a nice bottle of wine or cozying up with the classics . . . but let’s be honest: There’s something incredibly comforting about the unpretentious, the familiar, the just plain fun! It’s soothing. It’s brain candy. Perfect. Especially in these darker times.
Same thing with books. I want to be up to speed on the objectively “good” books. I think of this list in particular. It is important to me to read books that will expand my mind, build empathy, make me smarter, etc. But I also love my murdery thrillers. The sort of books that keep you up all night reading, just to get to the twist.
This also applies to food, snacking in particular. While I will happily spend way too much money on a beautifully plated meal at a fancy restaurant, nothing tops the nostalgic bliss of a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread, extra crispy, extra melty. We can add a slice of tomato to get those vegetables.
But also:
Dunkin’ iced coffee with milk and one Splenda. I know Splenda is terrible for me but I love it every now and then.
Movie nachos and a Diet Coke
A Slim Jim from the gas station on a road trip
A big bowl of parmesan Goldfish at home while watching a movie
Combos, Cheetos, and Handi-Snacks (huge fake cheese fan over here)
There’s an art to appreciating the lowbrow. It’s about leaning into what makes you happy, rather than what’s trendy or what you should like. It’s about embracing fun without guilt. It’s about giving yourself permission to enjoy things just because they bring you joy, no justification required.
In another essay, I could talk about how misogynistic our culture can be with this kind of classification. A lot of things that are dismissed as lowbrow (say, romance novels and beach reads) aren’t taken seriously for the art they truly are, simply because they are lighter and more female-focused. This isn’t that essay, but it’s something I think about. (And for the record, my guy never makes fun of the things I love.)
Let’s eliminate the term “guilty pleasure.”
Love what you love, without abandon. Life is already so serious; we can do both. Appreciate the objectively “good” stuff but also allow ourselves to let loose a bit, unapologetically.
“For the Frill of It” A pretty round-up of beautiful ruffled pieces and how to wear them. You can go big or just do a little ruffle!
I finished This is a Love Story by Jessica Soffer, and it is just as special of a book as everyone says it is. It’s a love story; but not just any love story. It’s also an homage to New York (and Central Park) and a raw look at love and loss. It broke my heart in bits but was also very warm and comforting at times. I highly recommend it. The Central Park bits were my favorite. First A+ book in a bit.
I read Shell Games by Bonnie Kistler in under 24 hours. This came recommended via
’s newsletter. I wanted something super twisty. It delivered! The plot has you guessing the entire time. Kate is a 70-year-old multi-millionaire (maybe a billionaire) with a real estate empire. She has just reunited (and married!) her high school sweetheart Charlie. On their wedding night, Charlie confesses to a horrible, deadly crime from years ago. When Kate calls the police, he denies it. Is Charlie gaslighting Kate, or does Kate suffer from dementia? Kate’s daughter Julie struggles to figure out what happened while discovering cracks in her own marriage.Next up is The Meadowbrook Murders by Jessica Goodman. Goodman writes fun, twisty YA thrillers. I think I’ve read all of her books and am a big fan. I am almost finished with it and absolutely love it so far. I’ll give you my final verdict next week, but I would venture to say it’s getting an A.
I’m still listening to The Friday Afternoon Club by Griffin Dunne on Audible. Without giving anything away, it took a sadder turn this week. I really enjoy Dunne’s storytelling and learning about his family and all of their famous friends. This book has been a great companion for walks, chores, and other activities.
I’ve found that “guilty” pleasures usually refer to things women like- men don’t get shamed for watching 6 hours of football on Sundays or golfing for an entire day. It’s just a way to minimize entertainment/activities/etc that typically women enjoy. Or I’m just in my ragey feminist era and I’m completely wrong, who knows? Anyway, I like what I like, so why pretend otherwise! Also, parmesan Goldfish are elite.
I have my PhD in Russian literature and you can pry my beach reads and rom coms for my cold dead hands. I love serious books and other works that make me think, but 90% of those works are real bummers—especially in my field. I need a balance of things I consume for fun and the things that hefty, especially right now.