Take Yourself on a Date

My time in France reminded me how dreamy it can be to dine alone

I just got back from my retreat in France, and one thing it reminded me was how much I love taking myself out on a solo date. I think there is a bit of a stigma around dining alone, but it’s something I enjoy, even if I don’t do it all that often. It’s usually when I’m traveling, so it’s a real treat and something I hadn’t done in a long time.

I like to really luxuriate, stretching out a solo meal, when I can. This is a symptom of Vacation Grace. In my everyday life, I do not stretch things out, ever! I am focused and meticulous, conscious of how every minute of my day is spent. But on vacation, I make my meals last. Maybe order some oysters to start. Then have a salad or an appetizer. Then, the main course. It’s practically mandatory to have two drinks. (Usually: an Aperol spritz). Ice cream for dessert.

While in Provence, we had several group meals, but I ate alone quite a bit. Each solo meal felt so memorable and special to me. My favorite was an impromptu lunch. On the final day of our retreat, I bowed out of our itinerary in favor of having a slow day. I wanted to wander our village, Lourmarin, one last time and spend a bit of time at our bastide (the most heavenly place). I needed to recharge, rest, and have some time to be creative. I meandered into town and finished my shopping, buying gifts for my niece and nephews and my father. I sat by the pool and wrote and sketched.

A few nights earlier, I’d had a really wonderful dinner at the most gorgeous little bistro with a dreamy courtyard and delicious food. A few of the women on the retreat had remarked how wonderful their skirt steak was. Steak sounded good—I wanted to eat there one more time. I didn’t have a reservation, but they were able to seat me. (Another beautiful thing about a solo date: Restaurants will almost always be able to squeeze you in sans reservation.)

this steak was heavenly good

I started with an Aperol spritz and then had the green salad and the skirt steak, which absolutely lived up to the hype. Somewhere near the end of the meal, I ordered a second Aperol spritz. And then a cappuccino and lavender-honey ice cream (I will miss this combination). In between courses, I did a bit of writing in my journal. I sketched. I did my crossword. I basked in the sunlight and wondered about the other guests. I took my time, savoring each bite of food. I think I stayed there for nearly two hours (a long time, when the meal isn’t stretched out by conversation), but I enjoyed every single minute. Pure heaven.

There are a few ways to do a solo date. On this trip, I usually chose a cozy table by myself. Sitting alone at a table typically means you’ll be left alone. On other trips, I’ve sat at the bar. I had one particularly memorable meal in Copenhagen a few years ago (Manfreds, RIP). It was a vegetarian restaurant, with one (famous!) exception—steak tartare. I ordered the tasting menu, so I was there for quite a while. I still remember the wood of the bar, the dim light, reading The Book Thief (it broke me!), and chatting with the bartender. (Hot tip: Chatting with the bartender is almost always a good way to get off-the-beaten-path recommendations when you are traveling somewhere new.)

If you are nervous about a solo meal and aren’t sure what to “do,” here are some of my tips.

• People watch!

• The New York Times Crossword. I always do Wordle and Connections first thing in the morning, but I like to do the crossword on the app, taking breaks and playing throughout the day. A solo meal is the perfect opportunity to do this!

• Read a book.

• Bring a journal and write or sketch.

• Sit, think, tune into your senses, be in the moment: Listen to the sounds around you, notice the details of your environment, (most importantly) really taste your food.

What about you? Do you ever take yourself out for solo dates? What’s your favorite way to do it?

I am missing the South of France and there is no better way to pretend I am still there (vs. in my hot, humid backyard) than with girlfriends and a crisp bottle of Yes Way Rosé. This rośe is a personal favorite as it's nice and dry. A classic rośe from the South of France. It's super smooth and easy to drink, with a balance of red berries, white peach, and grapefruit zest. Nothing is more refreshing on a hot summer day. I will add that it pairs wonderfully with a cheese plate or my favorite #girldinner: salad + french fries. And there are no added sugars!

*Sponsored Mention

Take me back to Provence!

Everything I read in June 2025! (It was a lot).

Gorgeous dresses under $200 — so many good ones!

A review of Esker’s body plane: if you have dry skin you will love this.

A Provence-inspired moodboard.

A summer reading list. Books that are perfect for this time of year, + a few that I want to read.

A review of Maison D’Etto’s Durban Jane — one of my favorite scents right now.

Pool Essentials: How I created my dreamy backyard retreat!

It is a longer list as I took last week off!

I finished The Compound. I really liked this. I gave it an A-. Lily lives in the dystopian future and has decided to go on a reality TV show. Ten boys, ten girls. Together, they compete on challenges to earn things for the house (starting with the basics like a couch and a freezer). But over time, the challenges get more and more uncomfortable and our protagonist (Lily) must decide what’s really worth it. (Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org)

On audio, I finished Original Sin: President Biden's Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again, by Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson. I must admit, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I finished. It was upsetting and hard to listen to. I’m glad I listened to it, but I’m so happy it’s over. (Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org)

Next up was The Names, by Florence Knapp. Many friends have called this their favorite book of the year, which I can see. This is a truly special book, one that you will think about long after you finish reading. If you loved The Midnight Library, you’ll love this. The books are very different, but also very similar in terms of that sort of Sliding Doors sort of vibe. It deals with the aftermath of a young mother naming her son three different names. Loved this. (Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org)

After that, I read Square Waves, by Alexandra Romanoff. This is the next book in the “Big Fan universe,” and (like most of 831 Stories’ books), I gobbled it up. It’s six years after Cassidy Weaver’s scandal, and she’s a little bit lost and unsure of her next steps. When she runs into her old nemesis Leon Park, sparks fly. They have a sexy night together, but can it be more? (Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org)

And then I read Isola, by Allegra Goodman. I am still thinking about this one, and also processing that it’s based on a true story. It is 16th century France and a spoiled, wealthy young orphan is abruptly sent on a cross-Atlantic voyage with her guardian to the New World. When she falls in love with his employee, they are both banished to a deserted island. There, she must survive. I will say no more, but wow - this one is an epic saga. I loved it. (Order on Amazon.com or Bookshop.org)