How to Have a Better Day

12 things to do when the universe is clearly out to get you

a night out at one of my favorite restaurants; Chez Nous

You wake up only to realize the cat got sick on your favorite quilt. You head downstairs, make some coffee, and promptly spill it all over your bathrobe. You check your phone and find a passive-aggressive email and then stub your toe. As you sit down, you drop your coffee mug and it shatters. There’s a “breaking news” update every 10 minutes, and who even knows if Mercury is retrograde but it certainly feels like the universe is conspiring against you.

This wasn’t my week, but it felt close. We’ve all had those days. And while I am all for wallowing in my feelings, sometimes we just have to figure out a way to turn things around.

Below: a little list of ways to have a better day when it seems like the odds are stacked against you. What works for me is to find small things that make me feel really cared for, or do something that gives me a sense of accomplishment (even if it’s a bit of an illusion).

1. This one is more preemptive than in the moment. At the end of my work day, I make my to-do list for the following day. I always add something really easy that can be crossed off quickly in the morning (like unloading the dishwasher while my coffee brews). It is silly, but crossing something off the list so early in the day gives me an early win before I’ve even had my coffee.

2. Fresh air and sunlight, always. The earlier, the better! As I write this, it is 9 a.m. I’m sitting in my courtyard, sipping my coffee and replying to Instagram messages. There is something about getting outside, getting sunshine first thing that sets the tone for the day. Fresh air is magical.

3. Try this tiny boost: Take the time to cut up some lemon for your water. A 10-second act of self-care. (Also: If you are cranky, ask yourself: “Am I hydrated?” Often when I am in a bad mood it’s because I am hungry or thirsty.)

4. Get yourself dressed. I sometimes find when I am the most bummed out, I just want to stay in my robe or cozies all day. But I always, always feel better when I put on a cute outfit—even just a day dress and ballet flats. Brush your hair. Accessorize. Wear your good jewelry. You will feel so much better.

5. Put on a happy fragrance. Scent is such a powerful thing. I thought about this as I was using Megababe’s Coco Deo earlier this week—it puts such a pep in my step! Some other mood-boosting fragrances I turn to are Byredo Sundazed, Buly’s Orange Blossom, and Annabel’s Birthday Cake.

6. Pay someone a compliment. This can be IRL of course, but also: Why not send someone you admire a little email? (It’s Valentine’s Day: why not do that today?!) Brightening someone else’s day has selfish effects: It will turn your day around too.

7. Move your body, even (especially?) if you don’t want to. The days I feel the most sluggish are usually the days my body needs it most. Get out of your head and into your body. Whether that is a long walk with a good podcast or audiobook, an at-home yoga flow, or just turning on some good music and dancing around the kitchen. Moving—in any way—shifts my energy immediately.

8. Reset your space. Mess = stress, and I swear tidying up my workspace, decluttering the kitchen counter, or lighting a candle changes my whole vibe.

9. Look at your to-do list; find the thing you are least excited to do, and do it. For me, that might be changing the air filters, for example. It’s counterintuitive, but having that thing crossed off the list will spark great joy. I promise!

10. Stay off your phone. When I am stressed and spiraling, my first instinct is to scroll. Instagram! Email! It never helps. Stick your phone on the charger and get outside. Or read a book. Do literally anything else.

11. And on that note (if you still have them on), disable push notifications wherever possible. I do not need every New York Times breaking news alert.

12. Lastly, give yourself grace. Not every day is going to be wildly productive. Some days are just days and that is OK. When all else fails, I remind myself that tomorrow is a fresh start, and I try to be a little extra kind to myself in the meantime.

Next time you’re in a funk, try one (or all) of these. And if all else fails? Cozy up, binge-watch something comforting, and remember—bad days don’t last forever. xx

in honor of Black History Month, some favorite Black-owned businesses, artists, and authors.

Carly rounded up fifteen gorgeous Amazon home finds. I can never get over the quality of her discoveries!

I have been loving a little THC at night: here are my favorite seltzers and gummies.

A big post to celebrate some of my personal favorite Black-owned businesses and artists.

Shopbop Sale on Sale Favorites

Thinking About Spring

I finished The Rules of Fortune by Danielle Prescod. It is perfect for fans of Succession or those who (like me!) enjoy tales of wealthy people behaving badly. When the patriarch of an ultra-wealthy family passes away (just before his seventieth birthday celebration), his daughter begins to investigate his past. She realizes she may have to choose between her morals and her family legacy.

After that, I started (and have almost finished) This is a Love Story, by Jessica Soffer. This book is . . . exquisite. I am going to have a book hangover when I finish reading it. It is a love story between a man and his dying wife, but also Central Park. It’s raw and honest, idealistic at times, heartbreaking in others. It’s worth the hype.

Meanwhile, on Audible, I am laughing my way through The Friday Afternoon Club, by Griffin Dunne. This is such a fun listen. I love all of the family stories, and I’ve loved learning about his friendship with Carrie Fisher. I highly recommend this one. And like so many celebrity memoirs, I now feel like Griffin and I are best buddies.