How Much Sharing Is Too Much Sharing?
Thoughts on transparency, boundaries, and how my content has changed over 15 years.
Hello! I am back from LA. It was a short but sweet trip. Highlights for me were wandering around Venice (the walking streets are my favorite), ice cream at Salt & Straw, dinner at a favorite spot, and seeing the Olafur Eliasson show at the Geffen Contemporary (an absolute must, in my opinion!).
I thought I’d use today’s paid letter to talk about something that’s been on my mind: sharing (and oversharing!). Buried in there: what influencers owe their audience.. how my content has changed… what happened when I stopped sharing everything!
But first.. a giveaway!
Quick refresher: Every month, I choose one (US or Canada-based) paid subscriber and send them a special treat. This month’s treat is a big box of beauty goodies. Product from INNBeauty, NARS, Guerlain, Tweezerman, Tan Luxe… + so much more! It’s easily valued at over $500. A big congrats to Kristine Gallagher! I emailed her yesterday to let her know she’d won.
Something that has been on my mind lately is the idea of what an influencer owes their audience. There is (or at least there can be, depending on who you follow) a real lack of boundaries on the internet.
I see influencers posting the most mundane and sometimes strange or gross details of their day (talking about bowel movements, sharing their baby’s poop explosions). It really bothers me when influencers post their kids crying or having a meltdown. Or share intimate details about something sensitive affecting their partner or family. Call me old-fashioned, but there are things (in my opinion!) that just do not belong on the internet. I unfollow.
Oversharing is not the same thing as honesty and transparency, which are two of my biggest values. If I love something, I will tell you. If I hate it, I will also tell you. I talk a lot about beauty, especially skincare, so I will always let you know if I am doing something major to my skin (Botox, lasers). And I’ll do my due diligence. If I recommend something new, you better believe I’ve thoroughly tested it myself.
On the flip side, there is a teeny-tiny portion of readers who want more (I’m talking like .1 percent!). I try to be kind, consistent, and responsive. And of course, with paid subscriptions, you need to honor your promises to readers: They’re paying for a product, after all! But I’d be lying if I said the pressure of feeling like I owe my audience more never got to me. I’m not immune.
2020 and 2021 were really difficult years for me—both personally and professionally. For the first time in more than a decade, I actually thought, “Maybe this isn’t for me anymore.”